EPISODE DESCRIPTIONS

SERIES 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

SERIES 1
* The numbers in parentheses after the description correspond with the BBCWA tape number.

1. Gordon Brittas arrives for his first day's work as manager of the recently built Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre. Things don't get off to a flying start, however, as on the first morning, he causes a strike amongst the builders and upsets everyone on the staff. (1)

2. Brittas is a man of extremely high morals and dreams of world peace and harmony. He is blissfully unaware of the fact that he is a greater threat to harmony in the Leisure Centre than everyone else put together! He has an amazing talent to turn a situation from bad to worse without any effort. On the Grand Opening day he manages to lock everyone inside the Centre while the ex-naval boiler man is furiously stoking the boiler, despite the growing heat, convinced he is on the sinking Bismark because of the water coming from the leaking pool. (2)

3. An underwater wedding is also wrecked when the Best man gets his hand trapped in the grill at the bottom of the pool. Meanwhile a drunk in an electric wheelchair is at large terrorizing customers. (3)

4. A spate of disappearances leads him to believe that a thief is among the staff and he sets about laying traps in an attempt to flush them out - unfortunately hiding in a locker in the ladies changing room doesn't quite go to plan. (4)

5. His long-suffering wife, Helen, is also having problems as a new doctor will not give her a repeat prescription of antidepressants. The Doctor suggests he meets Brittas to see just what is causing her depression. On meeting him he decides at once to give her the tablets and takes a few himself. (5)

6. Knowing her husband's talents for getting on with people, Helen, is convinced that he has finally driven someone too far and they are now out to kill him as a black clothed figure stalks the Leisure center (6)

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SERIES 2
1. BACK FROM THE DEAD - Mrs Brittas informs the Centre that her husband's been crushed to death in a Bulgarian car factory. Suddenly the Centre is busy and business is booming while Helen Brittas happily plans to remarry. Brittas returns, however, causing a slight mis-understanding; Colin thinks that Brittas has left the spiritual plane and is looking for a vehicle in which to re-enter the physical world - sending Carol into a frenzy to rescue her babies soul. (7)

2. TEMPLE OF THE BODY - Brittas thinks hanky panky has been going on in the Centre and is determined to find the culprits. Carole is pregnant again. The father is a mystery after an incident at Julie's New Year Fancy dress party which leads to a case of mistaken identity. (8)

3. AN INSPECTOR CALLS - The Inspector is due at the Centre. Brittas desperately tries to get the place spick and span, but a pigeon in the main gym is causing havoc. Helen finally has enough and decides to leave. (9)

4. CONCRETE - Brittas finds his feet set in concrete after an incident with the Rotarians. He calls the sick building man in to try and find the problem causing all the accidents at the Centre. Laura gives him a lesson in listening to what people say. (10)

5. SAFTEY FIRST - Brittas has closed the Centre for fire and safety exercises. But a real fire starts and the fire escape stairway he wanted replaced collapses, causing a major accident. Meanwhile Helen is trying to give up the pills, but Brittas isn't helping. (11)

6. MUMS AND DADS - Brittas is holding a russian piano recital at the Centre. But due to several disasters he ends up performing himself. Carole shows her skill at the piano and Brittas' father turns up with the family piano for him - to Helen's dismay. (12)

7. GENERATIONS - Colin's herbal remedies put Carole and a prize cow (stuck in a squash court) into advanced labour. Carole has twins and the cow a calf. Helen also discovers she's pregnant with twins. Laura is told twins are a common occurence in Brittas' family and realises Carole and Helen's twins have a father in common - Brittas himself! (13)

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SERIES 3
1. THE TRIAL - Gordon Brittas stands in the dock accused of the murder of several men, one by beheading with a chain saw, and grievous bodily harm to a group of old ladies. A plea of innocence is all very well but eyewitness accounts and evidence seem to suggest otherwise. As the story unfolds it turns out that Brittas has unwittingly stumbled on to an international drugs syndicate who had been using Whitbury Leisure Centre as their drop off point. To make matters worse an unknown member of staff has been super gluing objects that Brittas is likely to pick up which includes a chain saw which accidentally seems to have been switched on... (14)

2. THAT CREEPING FEELING - Brittas has been sent to Coventry by his staff following his attempts to put them onto a Personal Fitness Programme - the problem being they were too personal! Meanwhile he has received a parcel from South America. The parcel, however, only contains leaves which mystifies the staff. It is only when Gavin finds the dead remains of a huge spider do they begin to worry as the probability of it being one of a pair is highly likely. Colin is convinced it is another assassination attempt on Brittas' life and the hunt is on for a poisonous spider loose in the centre. (15)

3. LAURA'S LEAVING - Brittas' deputy manager Laura is applying for promotion to a large centre in London and it seems certain she will get. The news sends Helen into a panic. Helen is convinced that as soon as Laura goes out of the door disaster will befall the centre. It seems she could be right. Colin is behaving strangely after a bang on the head and when Brittas asks him to heat up the pool for a Pentecostal Baptism things start to go disastrously wrong. (16)

4. TWO LITTLE BOYS - Whitbury Leisure Centre is celebrating its first birthday and Brittas has prepared a multitude of special events to celebrate. Unfortunately the fuel storage tank has sprung a leak and Colin is busy collecting all the oil into various containers. Meanwhile, Brittas' twin brother Horatio has been staying with him before taking up his new post in the Church as Dean of Beirut. He is having doubts about his vocation and turn to Gordon for advice. Gordon reminds him of their plans they made when they were young to cure the world of all its ills. A stray firework and a cupboard full of heating fuel gives Horatio the sign he needed to convince him to go. (17)

5. SEX, LIES AND RED TAPE - Brittas is trying to raise funds for a second trampoline. Tim and Gavin are having wet sponges thrown at them and Colin attempts a marathon juggle which goes well until his balls get caught in some high tension cables. Brittas himself is on a sponsored silence - an idea suggested by Julie his secretary. When a wealthy American businessman offers to buy the trampoline outright Laura becomes suspicious, especially as it is her estranged husband. (18)

6. THE STUFF OF DREAMS - Helen's twins are due and she is determined that Laura should be the one to drive her to hospital. Meanwhile Gordon poses as an elderly customer to work out his plans for the forthcoming Elderly Week, which unfortunately results in a punch up with a genuine OAP. Helen's labour pains begin and somehow she is whisked off in Brittas' car to the hospital - well, not quite to the hospital! After Brittas collides with another vehicle he pulls over and somehow the car becomes sandwiched between a letterbox and another car. Always able to think on his feet Brittas decides to get Helen out of the car via the sunroof. (19)

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SERIES 4
1. NOT A GOOD DAY - Brittas organises a 'Life Cycle Week' in an effort to promote fitness in the community and who better to publicise it than Sebastian Coe OBE MP. Whilst Seb is at the Centre it seems only sensible for him to open the new Sebastian Coe Extension to the Gents Loo. All seems to go well until their volunteer for 'Life Cycle Week' dies of a heart attack, Seb Coe gets chained to a staircase and Brittas is held under siege by Roman Legionaries! Another perfectly normal day at Whitbury Leisure Centre. (20)

2. MR. BRITTA CHANGES TRAINS - Mr. Brittas is applying for a new job and is down to the last three for selection. Everything now depends on the impression that he creates when he and Helen have dinner with members of the European Board of Management. Helen, dreading the event, contracts lock-jaw that is fast taking over her body and Brittas is desperately looking for another partner. Meanwhile the staff are behaving strangely after a hypnotic show - Carole is croaking, Linda is barking and Colin...well Colin is telling everyone he loves them and taking his trousers off - which definately does not go down well with Brittas. (21)

3. PLAYING WITH FIRE - Helen has taken the kids off to Cornwall for a week and Brittas is having to spend some time on his own at home. It is Energy Conservation Week at Whitbury Leisure Centre and Brittas has decided to have a purge on trying to save fuel. Colin is doing his best to help by designing a recycling unit which will re-use all the waste products from around the Centre, however it's not quite what Brittas had in mind. When Gavin's fiancee arrives unexpectedly it starts off a chain of events which almost results in Brittas' death and certainly strains the relationship between Gavin and Tim. (22)

4. SHALL WE DANCE? - Whitbury Leisure Centre is closing its doors early so that the staff can attend the Southern Area Leisure Centres Staff Gala Ball. It promises to be a glittering occasion for both staff and partners but getting a partner seems to be where the problems begin for everyone, including Brittas. Colin has invited his milk lady, Pauline, who turns out to be not quite what she seems, while Carole decides to advertise in the local paper for a partner with remarkable results. As Helen is still away Gordon decides to accompany Laura, after all he has been spending a lot of time at her house while his wife is away. A fact that has not escaped the rest of the staff and gossip is beginning to spread. Brittas is outraged when Laura's estranged husband arrives at the Centre wanting a reconciliation. (23)

5. CHRISTENING - The Brittas twins are going to be Christened and Gordon decides to have a dress rehearsal of the occasion to ensure the real event will run like clockwork. He has asked his twin brother Horatio to officiate at the ceremony but Horatio arrives with somewhat of a quandary - should he marry his new girlfriend Phillipa Belmont? Gordon's brotherly advice is not helped by Helen who immediately takes a dislike to Phillipa who calls her a poor mother simply because she lost the twins whilst out shopping! Brittas feels that it really is quite important that the twins are present at their Christening so he organises a search party. (24)

6. BIGGLES TELLS A LIE - Brittas has decided to have a day off. Colin, meanwhile, arrives at work looking and acting rather strangely, he is clean, smartly dressed and the smell has gone! All becomes a little clearer when a mysterious guest arrives who has come all the way from Tasmania to visit him. It transpires that Colin has a daughter, Stephanie, who has never met him but they have written frequently and, in his letters, Colin has exaggerated the truth somewhat. The staff rally round to keep up the pretence that Colin not only is the manager of the centre but also a first degree hero. Naturally chaos breaks loose when the boiler breaks down and Mr Brittas decides to pop back to return a pen he accidentally took home. Carole, meanwhile, is anxious about a kitten that seems to have disappeared from the cupboard. (25)

7. THE CHOP - Brittas has devised a new board game as part of his 'Plan For The Future' fortnight and is trying to encourage the staff to actively participate in it, despite the rather complicated rules. The game is interrupted by a visit from Councillor Jack Drugget, who has some interesting news on Brittas' own future - or lack of it. Meanwhile, Helen Brittas has "borrowed" £300 from the Leisure Centre's petty cash to buy an ex-cabaret dog called Wayne who performs some intriguing tricks which include removing ladies' bras and unzipping men's flies. (26)

8. HIGH NOON - Brittas has been sacked as Manager of Whitbury Leisure Centre but has managed to get another job at a local garage. Alan Digby has taken over the management of the Centre and things seem to be picking up, the place is extremely busy and the takings are doing well. However, not all of the staff are behind Mr Digby. Colin is upset at the cancellation of some of his classes and Laura is not impressed by his rather scruffy demeanour. Carole and her children are now living with the Brittas' and causing not a little chaos for Helen, who has her own children as well as Gordon to cope with. Mr Brittas decides to pay one last visit to the Centre to deliver a special present he bought for the staff, a musical clock, in appreciation for their loyalty. It is this simple, well meaning, action that begins a string of events which even Brittas could not have foreseen. (27)

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SERIES 5
1. THE OLD, OLD STORY - "Songs of Praise" is to be presented from the newly rebuilt Whitbury Leisure Centre. However a series of accidents leads Brittas to believe that a serial killer may be on the loose in the Centre but he is determined that the recording of "Songs of Praise" should not be interrupted. (28)

2. BLIND DEVOTION - Colin temporarily loses his sight when his garden explodes and promotion is on the cards for one of the staff at Whitbury Leisure Centre but it means that someone has to go. (29)

3. BRUSSELS CALLING - Brittas is in Brussels being interviewed for a new job as European Commissioner for Sport. Meanwhile things at Whitbury Leisure Centre are not going as smoothly as might be expected in Brittas' absence - almost as if an invisible force was controlling it. (30)

4. THE LIES HAVE IT - Laura's wealthy American husband Michael T. Farrell III turns up at Whitbury Leisure Centre to apply for a job as junior pool attendant. Helen Brittas gets into deep water when she is spotted at a restaurant drinking champagne with her lawyer. However, a cleverly concocted story about a surprise party for Carole almost saves the day ... (31)

5. THE BOSS - Gavin takes over as trial manager for the day as Brittas tests his abilities with a set of intriguing problems; acid spillages, poison gas, pregnancies, and a marooned school bus are all in a day's work for the new manager of Whitbury Leisure Centre. (32)

6. PREGNANT - Brittas insists on compulsory urine drug tests for all his staff at Whitbury Leisure Centre, but the results come as rather a shock for some of them. (33)

7. UXB - As Brittas packs in preparation for his move to Brussels, Helen decides she would prefer to stay at home and look after the dog. Meanwhile, Colin makes a discovery which he feels ought to concern Mr Brittas ... (34)

8. THE LAST DAY - As Brittas prepares for his departure to Brussels as European Commissioner for Sport, he decides that an emergency water tank ought to be installed as an extra precaution against fire - a decision he later regrets. (35)

9. IN THE BEGINNING - (This episode has a Christmas theme, but can be transmitted as a single program) The year is 2019 and the ex-staff of Whitbury Newtown Leisure Centre are gathering at Colin's Scottish castle for their annual tribute to the man who gave them everything. They now include three millionaires, a world- famous concert pianist, a TV chef and a Government Minister. What is it that made them owe so much to Sir Gordon and Lady Brittas? (36)

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SERIES 6
1. BACK WITH A BANG - After being crushed to death Gordon Brittas has been returned to earth by St. Peter and rebuilt at a Swiss clinic. He returns a day early and misses the red carpet welcome prepared by his staff. (37)

2. BODY LANGUAGE - Gordon tries to explain benefits of matching and mirroring body language. Colin suspects alien invasion when a green block of ice crashes through the roof, and Helen mistakenly sells the house to a member of the U.S. military. (38)

3. WE ALL FALL DOWN - Whitbury is celebrating World Peace and Hunger Day, Helen plans revenge on a nappy co that didn't use her children in a TV commercial and Tim discovers the rest of the staff earn more than him... (39)

4. A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE - Brittas proves he's not always a walking disaster when his new campaign becomes a European Directive. (40)

5. AT THE DOUBLE - Gordon invites members of the Ruthenian State Circus to perform at the center. A group of US evangelists want to baptize Gordon in the pool after reading of his coming back from the dead. (41)

6. MR. BRITTAS FALLS IN LOVE - Tonight Mr. Brittas falls in love. He believes that swimming with a dolphin at the leisure center will bring peace, relaxation and happiness to all the inhabitants. (42)

7. SNAP HAPPY - When Brittas tries to organize a simple staff photograph, what can possibly go wrong? Last in present series. (43)

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SERIES 7
1. THE ELEPHANT'S CHILD - Situation comedy. Brittas organizes a sponsored bungee jump and expects his staff to take part. Helen Brittas plans a burglary to fund her bid for the franchise for the sauna solarium and Carole returns from her assertion course. (44)

2. REVIEWING THE SITUATION - Sitcom based in a leisure center with a manic manager, Gordon Brittas. He initiates a staff review which causes some antagonism; Julie is enjoying armed police protection after threats, which includes body searches. (45)

3. UNTITLED - The center enters the 21st century as Brittas has everything computerized, which causes huge problems. Drugget is convinced it is a waste of money and will be Brittas' downfall. Helen's therapy course seem only to appeal to staff. (46)

4. WAKE UP THE LION WITHIN - Brittas returns from a course which teaches executives how to release inner powers by roaring like a lion. He encourages his staff to try it out. The Leisure Center has been nominated for the 'European Award for Excellence'. (47)

5. THE DISAPPEARING ACT - The staff at the leisure center compete for Employee of the Month award though Brittas is not convinced of the wisdom of the competition; Colin brushes up his magic act for Julie's niece's birthday party; Helen holds dream workshop. (48)

6. GAVIN FEATHERLEY R.I.P - Comedy set in a leisure center. Gavin is feeling depressed and is receiving therapy from Helen Brittas. He joins the rest of the staff on their annual weekend break to Burbidge-on-Sea and goes missing so Brittas arranges a funeral (49)

7. EXPOSED - Investigative journalist, Roger Ferguson, is preparing to make a television expose of the goings on at Whitbury Leisure Center. Gordon is led to believe this will be a serious documentary. An outbreak of Bobula fever causes panic. (50)

8. CURSE OF THE TIGER WOMEN - Last in series of sitcom about Whitbury Leisure Center. Brittas prepares to celebrate seven wonderful years since the center opened, but Druggett tells him he has been chosen for early retirement. Carole reveals he's the father of her twins! (51)