EPISODE DESCRIPTIONS

SERIES 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Xmas Specials

SERIES 3
1. ARMOURED MIGHT OF CORPORAL JONES - Private Walker converts Corporal Jones' old butcher's van into a combined armoured car, ambulance and troop carrier. (301)

2. BATTLE SCHOOL - Captain Mainwaring and his men take part in a weekend battle course where they are instructed in guerrilla tactics by ex-members of the Spanish International Brigade. (302)

3. THE LION HAS PHONES - When an enemy aircraft crash lands in the town reservoir, members of the home guard must summon the assistance of the regular army. (303)

4. THE BULLET IS NOT FOR FIRING - Captain Mainwaring must convene a Court of Enquiry to replace ammunition lost when his troops fire on a low-flying enemy aircraft. (304)

5. SOMETHING NASTY IN THE VAULT - Captain Mainwaring and his men are trapped in a bank vault with an unexploded bomb while the Bomb Disposal Officer tries to disarm it. (305)

6. BIG GUNS - The Home Guard Platoon receives a very large naval gun for coastal protection, but no one has the faintest idea how to work the thing. (306)

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SERIES 4
1. THE DAY THE BALLON WENT UP - Captain Mainwaring and company must deal with a escaped barrage balloon that has become entangled with the weather cock on the church tower. (401)

2. WAR DANCE - - In order to boost morale and give the platoon's wives and sweethearts a chance to meet, Captain Mainwaring organizes a dance. (402)

3. MENACE FROM THE DEEP - A Royal naval section manning a machine gun on the end of the town's pier is transferred, and the Home Guard Platoon are selected to fill the gap. (403)

4. BRANDED - Private Godfrey decides he would be unable to shoot an enemy soldier and decides to declare himself a conscientious objector. (404)

5. MAN HUNT - Private Frazer suggests that they enroll a platoon dog in order to find the Germans who have been dropping into their portion of England by parachute. (405)

6. NO SPRING FOR FRAZER - A vital part of the platoon's machine gun has gone missing after Private Frazer took it to his workshop for cleaning. (406)

7. SONS OF THE SEA - In his capacity of manager of the local bank, Captain Mainwaring takes over a boat in lieu of an unpaid overdraft and immediately sees its tactical possibilities. (407)

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SERIES 5
1. THE BIG PARADE - As part of its War Weapons Week, Walmington-on-Sea's Home Guard will parade along with all the other auxiliary services. (501)

2. DON'T FORGET THE DIVER - Walmington-on-Sea is to capture a windmill defended by the Eastgate men, and to do this have to cross open ground without being seen. (502)

3. BOOTS, BOOTS, BOOTS - In order to make his men battle ready, Captain Mainwaring starts a foot hardening program that involves lengthy marches, a program which his troops dislike intensely. (503)

4. SEARGENT, SAVE MY BOY - During a blackout Private Pike becomes lost and entangled on the barbed wire of a mine field, prompting a rescue operation from the Home Guard Platoon. (504)

5. DON'T FENCE ME IN - The Walmington-on-Sea troops are detailed to relieve a Polish unit which has been guarding an Italian prisoner of war camp. (505)

6. ABSENT FRIENDS - Things become very serious when H.Q. calls upon the platoon to assist in the arrest of an armed suspect, a member of the I.R.A. (506)

7. PUT THAT LIGHT OUT - Captain Mainwaring decides that it is time that Jones had a touch of command and establishes him in an outpost situated at Walmington Lighthouse. (507)

8. TWO AND A HALF FEATHERS - When Private Clarke joins the platoon he reveals that he served with Corporal Jones in the Sudan and brings into question the corporal's battlefield conduct. (508)

9. MUM'S ARMY - Captain Mainwaring discusses with Sergeant Wilson a scheme to recruit female members into the platoon in order for them to take on some noncombatant activities. (509)

10. THE TEST - Captain Mainwaring receives a challenge from the Chief Warden to a game of cricket. Unbeknown to Mainwaring, the Wardens have signed up G.C. Egan who, were it not for the war, would be bowling for England. (510)

11. WILSON - MANAGER? - At last Wilson is to become a bank manager, at the Eastgate branch which is larger than the one that Captain Mainwaring manages in Walmington- on-Sea. (511)

12. UNINVITED GUESTS - When the Chief Warden is bombed out of his headquarters he secures permission to use Captain Mainwaring's office as a temporary H.Q. (512)

13. FALLEN HERO- Captain Mainwaring becomes most unpopular with his enlisted men when on a weekend camp he declares that officers and senior N.C.O.s should have separate accommodations. (513)

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SERIES 6
1. ASLEEP IN THE DEEP - While attempting to free Walker and Godfrey from a bombed pumping station, members of the Home Guard Platoon become threatened by waters from the leaking pipes. (601)

2. KEEP YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL - In order to avoid transfer to the Air Raid precautions unit, troops of the platoon must take steps to make them appear younger and more fit than ever before. (602)

3. A SOLDIER'S FAREWELL - Captain Mainwaring leads his men on an important military mission: to the local cinema which is showing a film about the life of Napoleon. (603)

4. GETTING THE BIRD - Corporal Jones hits on the idea of using pigeons as the solution to supplying his customers with some sort of meat in light of tight rationing. (604)

5. THE DESPERATE DRIVE OF CORPORAL JONES - In order to rescue the platoon from danger in a life fire exercise, Jones must solve the problem of having to drive two cars at once. (605)

6. IF THE CAP FITS… - Mainwaring decides that they way to silence the criticisms of Frazer is to assign him the difficult task of running the entire unit. (606)

7. THE KING WAS IN HIS COUNTING HOUSE - After a bomb scatters the notes in the bank's vault, Captain Mainwaring orders his men to the church hall where they must count the cash. (607)

8. ALL IS SAFELY GATHERED IN - Private Godfrey discovers a long lost love is now a farmer's widow and courts her dramatically at the harvest supper. (608)

9. WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR MONEY? - Jones cannot remember where he placed the £500 that he has collected for the new canteen and is subjected to a memory jogging test by the platoon. (609)

10. BRAIN VERSUS BRAWN - In order to keep his younger troops out of a newly formed commando unit, Mainwaring suggests he will challenge the other commander using native wits against his experts. (610)

11. A BRUSH WITH THE LAW - Warden Hodges is full of delight when he can issue a summons to Mainwaring for allowing an unconcealed light to burn in the office of the church hall. (611)

12. ROUND AND ROUND WENT THE GREAT BIG WHEEL - The War Office decides to use the Home Guard to provide security around a new secret weapon it wishes to test. (612)

13. TIME ON MY HANDS - During a daylight air raid, an enemy pilot bales out and his parachute becomes entangled in the steeple of the town clock. (613)

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SERIES 7
1. THE DEADLY ATTACHEMENT - Captain Mainwaring's platoon are detailed to guard a captive U-boat crew who have been picked up by a local fishing vessel. (701)

2. MY BRITISH BUDDY - The first contingent of American troops arrive in Walmington-on- Sea, and the platoon makes arrangements to welcome them. (702)

3. THE ROYAL TRAIN - His Majesty King George VI is passing through by train with the platoon assigned him as a guard of honor. (703)

4. WE KNOW OUR ONIONS - Captain Mainwaring and his troops of the Walmington-on-Sea platoon take part in a Home Guard Efficiency Test. (704)

5. THE HONOURABLE MAN - A relation of Sergeant Wilson dies, putting him on the outer fringes of the aristocracy - much to the annoyance of Captain Mainwaring. (705)

6. THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT - Jones' van, carrying the platoon, breaks down outside an apparently deserted house where Captain Mainwaring decides they should spend the night. (706)

7. THE RECRUIT - During those dangerous months when Britain stood alone, many members of the clergy joined the Home Guard, and now the Vicar and Verger have answered a call to arms. (707)

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SERIES 8
1. EVERYBODY'S TRUCKING - The Home Guard are out in force placing sign posts for a major military exercise until they have an unfortunate encounter with a steam roller. (801)

2. A MAN OF ACTION - Captain Mainwaring is decidedly the self appointed chief of all things military in Walmington-on-Sea, at least until the Regular Army arrives. (802)

3. GORILLA WARFARE - A determined fanatic becomes absolutely bent on putting an end to the career of Captain Mainwaring, secret agent. (803)

4. THE GODIVA AFFAIR - The local carnival is going splendidly, even with some dubious contributions of the Home Guard; but then Mainwaring spies Lady Godiva. (804)

5. THE CAPTAIN'S CAR - Lady Maltby has loaned her Rolls Royce as a staff vehicle until war's end, but there is an unfortunate confusion of this vehicle with a similar one in town. (805)

6. TURKEY DINNER - Jones accidentally shoots a turkey which then provides the senior citizens of town Christmas dinner while Mainwaring's performance as master of ceremonies is a disaster. (806)

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SERIES 9
1. RING DEM BELLS - The platoon takes part in a training film, and in no time at all the whole area is on red alert for a group of Nazi paratroopers. (901)

2. WHEN YOU'VE GOT TO GO - Pike's number may be up when he receives his call up papers and, to his mother's alarm, is graded out as A-1 for service. (902)

3. IS THERE STILL HONEY FOR TEA? - Godfrey's idyllic country cottage is on the verge of being bulldozed out of existence in order to may way for a new airstrip. (903)

4. COME IN, YOUR TIME IS UP - When a German air crew, paddling around the lake in their rubber dinghy, refuse to surrender the platoon decides to put itself on water. (904)

5. HIGH FINACE - An examination of Jones' books begins a trail that leads to Chief Warden Hodges, wicked landlord and blackmailer of widows. (905)

6. THE FACE ON THE POSTER - Jones thinks he will be the poster boy for a national recruiting drive, but a printer's mix-up has him as the picture on a wanted notice for a dangerous escaped German POW. (906)

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SERIES 10
1. WAKE UP WALMINGTON - Captain Mainwaring decides that his fellow citizens must be alerted to the possibility of heavily disguised invaders. (1001)

2. THE MAKING OF PRIVATE PIKE - Captain Mainwaring's staff car is a thing of joy, at least until Pike manages to get his hands on it. (1002)

3. KNIGHTS OF MADNESS - To stage the story of Saint George seems a good idea, but it can come unglued with the presence of rival knights and rival dragons. (1003)

4. THE MISER'S HOARD - When Mainwaring hears about Frazer's collection of gold sovereigns, he decides it would be safer in a bank - in particular, his bank. (1004)

5. NUMBER ENGAGED - While guarding a vital telephone link the platoon make the unpleasant discovery that a bomb has become enmeshed in its wires. (1005)

6. NEVER TO OLD - Jones' wedding reception is ruined by an invasion alert, but with our heroes on duty what enemy would dare to land? (1006)

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CHRISTMAS SPECIALS

1971 - BATTLE OF THE GIANTS - A happy wartime Christmas often meant pooling coupons, even for simple festive fare such as shortbread biscuits and shelter cake. 1975 - MY BROTHER AND I - Captain Mainwaring arranges for a sherry party for local dignitaries, but during the festivities an unwelcome guest arrives.

1976 - THE LOVE OF THREE ORANGES - As Christmas is coming, the Vicar decides to hold a bazaar to raise money for comforts for troops on active duty, and he asks for contributions from the troop.